Cotillion: A St. Paul's Tradition for a New Generation
Much work has gone into updating the Cotillion program over the past two years although if you stopped by the Parish Hall on the second Saturday of any given month, you would find that at its heart, the program looks very much the same today as it did at its inception. The boys are still nervous and struggle to make eye contact. The girls, many of whom tower over their partners, still cast furtive glances at their friends as they are paired up. As a follow up to the reprinted 1980's article from Mt. Lebanon magazine which was featured in the August Messenger, we thought you might like to learn about how the program has changed from 30 years ago.
Like they did in the 1980's, all rising Mt. Lebanon 6th graders receive a printed invitation and response card in the mail inviting them to register for the program. While evites were considered, we ultimately thought it was important to learn the etiquette involved in receiving paper invitations and promptly returning a response card. There is still a scramble to return those invitations because only the first 50 girls and 50 boys are accepted into the program, with preference given to St. Paul’s families. Responses are logged in according to the postmark on the return envelope. For the first time this year, there were more boys on the waiting list than girls.
While Cotillion continues to use paper invitations, we are attempting to have all registrants pay the $125 registration fee online through a secure server thanks to help from Lisa Brown. Much of that fee is used to pay the dance instructor, sexton and costs of refreshments. The bulk of the profits from Cotillion help fund the Children & Youth budget for the Church. If there is enough money at year-end, gifts are also given to local nonprofit organizations that benefit the children and youth in the area, such as Outreach, Mt Lebanon Public Library and the Teen Center.
Long time dance instructor, Howard Ziegler, who may have taught many of you, is no longer involved with Cotillion. Last year, Bill Kumer, owner of Ballroom Central Pittsburgh on Mt. Lebanon Boulevard, was hired to teach the dancing portion of the program.Bill has two young sons so although he instructs the students on the same classic dances such as the fox trot, waltz and cha cha, he uses current music (from a mix created by his preteen which includes, among other songs Maroon 5’s “Maps” and Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse”). The current music helps the dances seem more relevant. To keep things interesting, Bill sometimes brings in his adults students to demonstrate one of the dances allowing the kids to see what dancing well looks like. These days, the program is a little more “Dancing with the Stars” and little less watching your grandparents dance at a wedding. As in years past, the student party in April allows the students to demonstrate what they have learned with a dance off and a chance to win gift certificates to some local businesses. In May, we celebrate the end of a successful year by inviting parents to come watch the students dance, share a dance with their son or daughter and enjoy a dessert buffet.
Cotillion now also incorporates a lesson in table manners—one of the most requested changes made by parents over the years. During each of the sessions, light refreshments are offered both to hold the students’ attention and to learn valuable lessons in allowing ladies to go first, touching only the food you take and not overindulging in one offering leaving nothing for those behind you in line. In addition to those lessons on food which have been part of the program for many years, one of the spring sessions is now devoted entirely to table manners. The students enjoy sit down dinner while being instructed by an etiquette trainer. Thanks to help from Karen Viggiano last year who organized the kitchen help, we were able to serve 100 students dinner, complete with assigned seating by table numbers (students were grouped by elementary schools to help ease dinner conversation), volunteer servers and multiple courses. The students were instructed how to eat soup, pass the salt and pepper and indicate that they were finished by the placement of their utensils on the plate. Because not all of the students are able to participate in this event, the dinner requires a separate RSVP and $20 fee both of which are done electronically.
The most noticeable changes, of course, are not ones that we have implemented, but which have occurred over time. We now must collect all of the students’ cell phones at the door when they enter the Parish Hall to avoid having them text or take pictures during the evening. The phones are returned to them at the end of the evening. We also struggle with explaining the appropriate dress for the event. While years ago we could tell the kids to wear “church clothes,” that description no longer works given the variety of acceptable dress for church. We do expect boys to wear jackets and ties and girls to wear dresses or skirts. As skirts and dresses get shorter, educating the girls on the proper way to sit has become one of the first Cotillion lessons taught.
Cotillion is run entirely with volunteers. Each month we need help from parents to chaperone, set up refreshments and throughout the year help is needed with organization.Because the proceeds benefit Children and Youth, we generally seek the assistance from the parents of students in the 6th grade Sunday school. However, if you would like to help with Cotillion, please contact Melissa Bailey at stephen.bailey@mac.com.
Tags: Messenger January 2016 / Children / Children and Youth / Families / Youth